Friday, August 21, 2009

Heavenly hierarchy. Redefined. (Part - 1)

I am not a ‘religious’ person in conventional sense. I don’t go to temple everyday or pray regularly. My idea of religion may be different, but that does not mean that I don’t believe in almighty.

I was thinking about never ending list of gods and goddesses in Hinduism and all of a sudden I started defining their roles in a lighter vein. Then I thought why not share it with you all. So here it is, first post of the series beginning with ‘Holy Trinity’ of Brahma, Vishnu and Mahesh.


Lord Brahma
He is the Chief Softwate Architect of this whole universe and is usually in a trance state (or high on some heavenly stuff) when not coding new objects or creatures. Lower ranking deities usually consult him in order to settle any disputes like who’s hotter? Size-zero Kareena or chocolate-clad Bipasha. Sometimes he’s approached to find backdoors to take care of monsters and humans trying to compete or threaten other gods. That kind of sums up his task. He flies on a single seat swan but usually sits on a Lotus flower. I mean how can he do that, won’t it sink if a person sat on it? Guess that’s a bug Mr. Brahma needs to fix in upcoming Universe 2.0 pack. And yes, he can look at multiple screens at a time thanks to multiple heads. Wonder what would Steve Jobs or Bill Gates might have done if he too 'head' this advantage?


Lord Vishnu
Burdened with responsibility to maintain stability in the world hell bent on destruction is a daunting task. And I don’t envy him one bit for taking up this job. Every time he tries to relax with Laxmi, some maniac intoxicated with power ruins his peace. Thanks to violence perpetuated by that maniac, Vishnu has to scroll down to earth in one of his incarnations. Even though is God, he can’t tell this to those around him and hence needs to follow the normal human cycle of growing up. This can be little boring, though there are moments where he gets to kick some monsters and stuff. Since he is always so busy kicking monster butt, he needs to relax a lot. To ensure his comfort, a seven-headed serpent – Sesh naag – is always on call to become his bedding. For timely intervention, he rides on Garuda (a badass eagle) so that if he encounters some small-time creep, Garuda can test claws on him. His best known incarnations are Ram, Krishna and many others that I can’t recollect.


Lord Shiva aka Mahadev
Powerful and scary but with an innocent heart. That sums up Lord Shiva. Also called “Bhole baba” due to his naiveté, he always ends up giving boons to evil monsters. He in turn is responsible for increasing work load on Brahma and Vishnu since task of dealing with those monsters is theirs. At least morally. But don’t you dare think that he’s a softie. He can be real nasty if someone pisses him off. At such times he starts his own style of destructive dance called ‘Tandav’. I don’t have more details on his unique dancing style, but I for one don’t want him to start dancing in my drawing room. Worst thing would be to piss him off so much so that he opens his third eye. That eye spits fire, much more powerful than what Cyclops from X-Men series did. His better half is equally powerful and goes by the name of Parvati. He has two kids, Kartikeya and Ganesha. While Kartikeya being god of war is always busy fine tuning strategy, he prefers to avoid limelight. Ganesha on the other hand is the cutest god with the head of an elephant and is remembered before commencement of any auspicious occasion. Now, he wasn’t born with an elephant’s head, nor is he a mutant. But one day he pissed off Shiva and ended up losing his head. When his mom came to know about this, she forced Shiva to fix it. Mahadev looked out and first creature he saw was an elephant. Figuring in the urgency of the situation, he cut elephant’s head and fixed it on Ganesha’s torso. Moral of the story, Shiva can get you in BIG trouble, but when you are neck deep in bad stuff, there is no one else better than him to get you out of it.


  1. he he he...

    he he he...
    really a master piece that cn put u in light mood!
    well compared and described the responsibilities of Brahma - vishnu n mahesh!

    BTW- JUST 4 JANKARI :: mahadev has 2 sons as u said and has 1 daughter also! name is "aokha" - and a famous chapter called "aokha haran" is written adressing her!

  2. Fantastic imaginations and with humor! so fine touch, thnx

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  4. A ship in harbour is safe, but that is not what ships are built for.

  5. I am a staunch hindu but your article made me laugh.......thanks

    1. Hi,

      I am glad I could make you laugh. Thanks for the support.


      Vishal Kansagra